“Who I was is hard to miss”. I found this quote in a word file on my old computer. I had written about my life choices at the time. This was 2014. At that point in time I was going through a change in career and staring a new relationship with someone who would end up being toxic and I would make choices that weren’t in my best interest.

This quote resonates with me and after reading it last night I sat with it for a while. Let it sink in.

You know why who I was is hard to miss? Because I love the person I am now. The woman I always imagined being. I’m a nerd at heart, I’m a reader at heart, I’m career minded at heart. The key word here is heart.

I have always been the one to wear my heart on my sleeve and there are parts of my old self that I will never lose. Like the naive romanticism or the bad taste in music.

Ever since I stopped drinking I feel younger. I’ve said it before but I feel 17 again. At least in my heart and mentally. Physically I feel older because of a back injury. It will take a while to heal but I have faith in myself and my body to heal over time.

I remember being 17 and not giving a damn what anybody thought of me. I was crazy and I love that girl in me. She was smart and beautiful. I lost her somewhere around 23. But I brought her back to life.

Right now I’m laying in bed with my partner. He’s playing an online game and soon I will play instrumental music and read. It’s so simple and simpler is what I was longing for in my life.

I may want a career and a never ending library but that’s where the extravagance ends. Unless you call wanting to live by a lake or ocean extravagant.

Tonight I just want to relax, read and really take in all the positive things in my life. I have so much to be thankful for. And I am thankful for you reader. I hope you can enjoy something simple too.