As I write this, I lay on my couch with the lamp on illuminating the room with its golden glow. My partner, Leith is in bed which is right beside me on the other side of the wall. He works 12 hour shifts doing security so he’s usually pretty tired on the days he works.

It is our first weekend off together in a while. I get one full weekend off a month and he gets every other weekend off. Our schedules usually align but after this weekend the next two weeks we don’t have time off together.

I’ve become friends with an older woman who works cash at the McDonald’s by my second bus stop to get to work. We chatted a few weeks ago about our partners. She’s been married for 45 years and her and her husband have the same type of relationship as my partner and I. She said they have opposite schedules,but the time they spend together is so special and that is always how I feel about my time with Leith.

It’s funny because the other night we had such a nice evening together. I made tea and we lay on the couch watching a movie together. The room was toasty from the heater and Leith rubbed my feet as we watched the movie. It was so simple yet it’s stuck in my mind. I want more cozy nights like this with him this winter. Something about that night was so romantic in my mind. We had the lamp on which gives the room a romantic feel and the heat was so warm I was relaxed and cozy.

Usually on my bus ride to and from work I’ve been listening to music. But yesterday I did not bring my headphones with me,I wanted a different experience. I read a few chapters of my book and then I watched the trees go by out the window letting my mind wander wherever it felt like going. And it went to the other night with Leith. My gratitude practice came into play because I started thanking the universe at that moment for all the good things in my life. And Leith is a part of that. I love him so much it’s crazy.

Today on the ride to and from work I listened to podcasts by Jay Shetty and Lewis Howes. Both these men inspire me to be a better person and to want more from my life. Today, two topics that stood out to me were meditation and forgiveness. I need to start my meditation practice again because it went out the window ever since I had Covid. I’ve been trying to recover. The brain fog I’ve had for months is finally seeming to subside a bit.

The other topic, forgiveness, made me think of all the things I’ve forgiven myself for and others. I’ve never found it hard to forgive other people for doing me wrong, but I always find it hard to forgive myself. It’s only the past 3 years that I’ve mastered the art of forgiving myself. I always forgive people because we are all human and make mistakes. I find compassion and kindness are important to me. In the past I’ve been really hard on myself when I haven’t lived up to the standards and values I’ve set for myself in life. I always want to be kind and compassionate. The podcast I listened to today says that compassion isn’t about other people, it’s about yourself and how you show up in the world. It’s affect on other people is just a bonus. I want you to know if you ever did me wrong reader no matter how badly, I’ve already forgiven you. I doubt that anybody who wronged me is reading this but I want to put it out there in the universe that everyone is forgiven. And know that if I wronged you I definitely beat myself up over it but I’ve finally forgiven myself whether you have forgiven me or not. To me forgiveness is also for ourselves and not others. For our own peace of mind.

As I’m almost done writing this post soon I’ll be cuddled up on the couch with my current read: The Cafe by the Sea. I’ll be drinking the honey lemon tea I just brewed. Somehow even the mundane things make me romanticize my life. I feel like this is the perfect night in with myself. Lately everything just seems so romantic to me. And that’s how I like it.