Happily Ever Woman

Happily Ever Woman

Sipping tea

Writing words

Sitting in silence

Jotting down thoughts

Living in memories

Silently staying strong

Walking down the street

Singing my favourite song

The world sleeps

I type away

And I celebrate

The start of a new day

The rest of my life

Happily Ever Woman

Happily Ever Woman

I think of fixtures

Gold

Brass

Silver

The different fixtures in my life

The habits I have

The people I see

The places I go

And my goal is to make these fixtures

My favourite

Trending right now is gold

But I want silver

Silver is me

Silver is passion

Silver is stability

Silver is greatness

And this are the things

That describes the fixtures in my life

Happily Ever Woman

Happily Ever Woman

In the quiet moments

I sit a ponder

The events that just passed

The hardship

The tears

The love

And I made it through

Through another storm

Life ebbs and flows

And sometimes I crave

The silent moments

Between the chaos

Where I can be me

No apology

And forget about

Everything else

Happily Ever Woman

Happily Ever Woman

The world moves past my window 

A park filled with green

People walking down the street 

A sight so serene 

My gaze lingers 

At the blue sky 

I feel at peace 

Ready for the day 

Each morning I sit 

And gaze out the window 

Watch the world pass me by 

All the life around me 

Like the world is saying hi 

I wave at my neighbour 

Watch a stray cat strut by 

Clouds move in 

On my perfect blue sky 

A storm is coming 

I long for the rain 

Cold, hard 

Washing me

I see the first drop 

And through my little window

I see the world stop 

Happily Ever Woman

Happily Ever Woman

So a lot of my posts lately have been about self improvement, self love, choosing yourself. It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately since I’ve been focusing on my goals for 2025. So my question is do you choose yourself? Do you take the necessary steps to become the person you know you are deep down?

There is this song Devil Inside by CRMNL. It is about all of us having a little bit of evil inside “tearing you apart in the middle of the night.” I like this song because to me it unites us all. We all have made mistakes. We all have regrets. But they don’t have to dictate who you can be now or in the future. You can become a different person, a better person. You can make a list of the values you want to embody and then move forward living in this new way. Change is a part of life. And if we aren’t changing then we aren’t growing. I don’t want to be the same person at 40 as I was at 25. Not to say you can’t start over. If you want to change your career or change your path at 40 that doesn’t make you a failure. To me that makes you brave. You know the life you made isn’t working for you anymore and you take the steps to become the person you now want to be.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life. And I could sit in bed and cry about them or be stubborn and stay stuck in my old ways. Stay stuck in my old belief system that this is who I am and nothing can change that. The truth is YOU can change that. You have the power to change your life everyday by just taking one small step. Whatever that step is for you depends on the life you secretly dream of for yourself. At 36 I’m back at the person I was at 17. I said that on one of my other blogs. But that doesn’t mean I’m the same naive person and unexperienced person. It just means I re-realized my dreams. I reconnected with that younger version of myself and found there was a lot to love about her. And I wanted to bring some of that back into my current reality. I try and channel her. Her energy, her aura, her light. And she was me… she is me. So that energy has always been within me.

I’m not afraid to look at my past and say hey that isn’t the way I want to live now. That isn’t who I am at my core. I made bad decisions… I went through some hard times… I hurt people… I was hurt by people… but I can live better today. I can be THAT GIRL. And for me THAT GIRL is the person that I envisioned myself becoming when I was 17. Maybe that picture is a little bit different now. There are new goals to be added, lessons I learned that changed my perspective. But the overall arching theme of being loving to myself and to others and being authentic and not letting peoples opinions affect me is really what I want for myself. Journaling, working out, meditating, reading… these are things I’ve done my whole life. Maybe not always consistently but they are things that are important to me. Writing for myself, on my blogs, writing a novel… these are things I always saw myself doing. And sometimes that devil inside comes up. I have a negative thought… I’m angry about something… I’m remembering something from the past. But the difference is I turn inwards to my light and change what I’m thinking. I live in love. And it is really beautiful.

Happily Ever Woman

Happily Ever Woman

So today I made a quiet pact with myself to read all of my online writing. So far I’ve made it through all the posts on this blog and on my diary blog Tea With V . I think I needed a reminder of all the good things and good days I had written about. Yes some of the posts include hard times when I was going through anxiety but there are also many posts about high energy and happiness and nights in with my partner.

As I sit at my kitchen table in my little wellness centre, I feel that today has brought me closer to the woman I am becoming. Because I went through all those posts and saw the person I am and what I think about on a daily basis. Yes my past haunts me some days and yes my anxiety got out of control the past few months. But here I am smiling and grateful that today was a great day.

What made it great was that it was a productive day. I got housework done, I watched a movie, I did my skin care routine, I made time for blogging and I made time to reflect on everything I have ever written in the past 6 years.

Tonight I will spend time reading my other two blogs (I have four blogs in total) and just really reflect on where I was then and where I am now. I do the same thing with my social media accounts. I look through the posts and pictures and really take in the beauty that is my life. We spend so much time looking at other people’s lives and seeing their perfectly curated feed. We need to look at our own. Our feeds only show the good times in life so when you need a boost, don’t look through other people’s feeds. Look through your own. To remind you of the picture worthy days of your own life.

I had a rough month of anxiety but I took time today to forget about that and look back at all the moments that have made my life instagramable! And I will continute to reflect in the future. It takes the load of my shoulders and reminds me why I should romanticize my life everyday.