He silenced me. Not physically. Not actually. But I felt silenced. Not allowed to speak. To speak the truth. He took the duct tape and put it over my mouth. He glared and he screamed and he made it known that I am nothing. That I am little. That I am just a girl. That what I have to say doesn’t matter.

If I spoke, I got the warning look. Telling the truth was out of question, staying silent was out of the question. So what was I to do? Lie? Spin the truth? Stay silent and be torn apart? Should I scream? I was screaming on the inside. Screaming on the inside I hope the world would hear me. But I crawl into that dark place and curl into a ball.

I cry. I sleep. I eat. I don’t speak. Not that I have nothing to say, but the world won’t listen. The man has silenced me and ruined me. The man has decided that what he wants is more important than my integrity, than my dignity. What he wants is peace. What he wants is lies. What he wants is for me to cast a blind eye. What he wants is ignorance and bliss.

He wants me gone. So I go. With my tail between my legs. But then I think ” I know the truth”. If no one listens to me, if no one believes me it doesn’t matter. My conscience is clear because I’ve been honest. My conscience is clear because I’ve repented.

I’ve broken down and rebuilt. I’ve stood up and moved on. And I remind myself…. this silence won’t last forever. Just for now.